I wannas sexs uuuuu
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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