if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
