He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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