Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You left your phone here
Wait...
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