dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
