I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
