god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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