That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
