Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
