i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he shaved USA in his pubs
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
