My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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