I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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