we're chasing vodka with high fives
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
