Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
