Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
