I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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