I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
