if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
