Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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