i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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