I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
