For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
