woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
