I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
they need to just BURY HIM!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
