Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
