Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
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That's how twitter works, right?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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