Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
