I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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