I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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