My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
