Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
nutella sex= disaster
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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