quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
