Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
