matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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