Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
