We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
