I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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