hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
