They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
