Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
