I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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