Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
