i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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