Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
