so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
