Where is the hickey?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
