Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
