Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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