Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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