party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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